When it comes to being normal, most folks are very confused.
On the one hand, whatever normal is, we want it, need it, gotta have it. We wear clothes in public, fret if we’re dressed “inappropriately,” do our best to make a living, have a place to live, and keep quiet so people will allow us to join them in getting high on too much pie at Christmas.
We reeeeally want to fit in somewhere, blend with some group or other, belong while not being incarcerated or institutionalized.
Basically as long as we’re not too weird, we’re for it.
Except…. we don’t want too much normal.
Too normal is sheep-like, boring, unthinking, one of the crowd. Insignificant, even.
Yeah, no thanks. We’d much rather be special. Don't be part of the herd! Be the star, shave the head, get the tattoos, be the best, cutest, smartest or most enlightened in the room.
Except… not too much different either, please. Not drooling, screaming, setting-things-on-fire, “OMG she’s crazy” different.
See the confusion?
Which is it? Do we want normal or special, same or different? Same, but not too much same? Stand out but not too much out?
Yes!
See? That clears things right up.
If we’re paying attention, we might start to notice all the effort to walk the middle line and not veer too much in either direction.
Which is another way of saying “normal.”
Of course this involves careful navigation. Because while no one wants to be insignificant, no one wants to be so significant that they’re alone either.
Because, well, … alone. We hate it. Alone is bad, ‘nkay?
We’d much rather be part of the greater cluster than a lone nut.
So here we are, working lifetimes to nurture individuality, while hating being alone, hating being separate, hating being disconnected.
As if, as individuals, we’ve detached from the whole and spun off into space to die alone, when all we really wanted all along was to be invited to the cosmic party.
It turns out that much more than specialness, what we really crave is completeness, inclusion, lack of separation.
We long to disappear into something greater than little ol’ Me.
Striving for normal is just our mixed-up way of trying to eliminate the sense of separation between our Self and the bigger picture.
Although it’s kind of funny. Because how is it possible to exist and not be in the picture?
We keep trying to get back to what we really are.
As if it’s possible to have left that in the first place, and now have to work hard to return.
Meanwhile, with the constant focus on how to make the individual stand out- focusing on what it wants, what it likes, what it feels, how it’s doing- well…
We might not notice what we’re already part of, when all our attention is on trying to be distinctly not part-of.
Trying to make the individual more individual is fruitless. And not peaceful. And not possible. And causes us to miss the “No me, only we” essence of existence.
I mean, imagine watching this planet’s ebbs and flows from far out in space, and see if any one individual is separate and disconnected from the whole. See if, with perspective, it’s possible to find where one person ends and another begins, or if it all moves as a cohesive unit.
This is good news. Turns out we are already part of a larger completeness. There’s no need to work so hard for connectedness that's already here.
The individual isn’t so individual after all. No matter how special and unique, or nutty and seemingly alone, we’re still part of something so much bigger.
And we can’t get more normal than “Everything.”
That’s the epitome of normal.
It’s as included as an individual can get.
Yay! Party in the cosmos!
We’re In.
